Sugar’s Take

We are all humans that can succumb to the ugliest of behaviors. And Be Be Winans is no exception. What adds fuel to the alleged violent fire is the fact that he is a well known man of God.

I grew up listening to a lot of gospel: The Winans, Commissioned, Hezekiah Walker, Take 6, and them Blind Boys Of Alabama.  Partly because it was the only music my Jesus loving mother and sisters would let me play loud in the house, but really because it was plain ole good music. Run DMC and The Fat Boys were forbidden, though I played them anyway. These were the people myself and my family used as models for our lives. We not only admired their music but also their critical acclaim. So, learning of the violence between Be Be Winans and his ex-wife was really heart breaking. It’s like hearing your cool uncle that was known for slippin’ a 20 dollar bill in your shirt pocket is now strung out on crack or something.

Truthfully, I am more hurt than appalled because, to me, this is bigger than the wives of celebrity – it is the manifestation of frustration, pinned up aggression and animalistic responses to human problems. We all know it is wrong to hit a woman, to hit anybody (except for life and death situations) but we need to ask ourselves why this is happening. What is the root of the problem? That’s what I wanna know, so we can get to some healing.

If we’ve learned anything from the Chris Brown-Rihanna situation, it is important to not be judgmental of Mr. Winans. The situation is unfortunate and all we can do is pray for him, keep him in our thoughts and hope he gets some professional help or intervention…not come out with a duet or a book.

Ed’s Take

The predicament with brother Winans just may be one of the few positive by products of a tragedy with more cruel ironies than Shakespeare, Chris Brown and Rihanna’s relationship.  Hopefully, more women like sista Winans will have the courage to come out and report abuse.  To be fair, these ALLEGATIONS against Winans do seem out of step with his reputation as a world renowned man of God.  But, just because he totes a bible and flaunts his Sunday best does not mean he is beyond reproach.  We are all flawed, and Winans is susceptible to the same pressures, misdeeds, and frailties of any man of flesh and bone.

As for fame, it can give you an over inflated sense of self (aka the big head) and very dangerous sense of entitlement. However, these cases of domestic violence with Winans and Brown are less about fame and more about the uncomfortable silence surrounding the abuse of women who do not have famous men as predators.   Every few years we have high profile cases like Mike Tyson, OJ Simpson, Jim Brown, Eminem, James Brown, Phil Hartman, Vanilla Ice, etc that jar the issues of domestic violence to the public consciousness.  We frequently forget; however, in a world outside the “famous” headlines everyday women are catching hell all over the world.

Most importantly, men have to redefine manhood from the archaic, cave men visions perpetuated in the media.  We are taught to be tough and emotionally unavailable as vulnerability and true expressions of love are seen as weak or ultra feminine.  Also, women must seek support systems and safe spaces to discuss violence without fear of public outing, as misdirected and insensitive media did with Rihanna, or legal consequence.

I have friends and family members that have been on the receiving end of a man’s left hook.  And I know for sure, if we continue to ignore the cries of abused women the blood will forever be on our hands.