Sugar’s Take

I have always been told, by one of the most wonderful women I know, that “you get paid on the comeback.” So how does this relate to the question? In my opinion, a man’s job is to make sure a woman has at least one orgasm; even if it’s just to avoid the “talk-about-his-punk-ass” conversation with her homegirl when he leaves. If a woman does have said orgasm, a man usually gets a call to come over and do it again. He does the damn thang, and she makes him as happy as he made her the first time, if not more. So now both are happy. That’s getting paid on the comeback. This is what supposed to happen…I think.

If the brother is acting like he is to be treated like a demi-god that gave you the legendary golden sword, then he’s buggin’. Especially if you only did it once and the sword was kinda silver. But, if the brother had you shivering and you fell asleep with your thumb in your mouth and it’s been that way from the start, stop frontin’ and call the brother. And, hey, if you feel like you wanna go bowling or something, make a suggestion. At least you know he’s good at one thing.

Ed’s Take

Like beauty, sex is in the eye of the beholder. It’s all about the mindset of the participant.  It can be the ultimate physical connection between two souls, or it can be recreation purely based on carnal desires. And while sex won’t make a relationship (eventually you have to talk and process emotions), it can surely hurt one.  Be real.  We have all held on (or know someone who did) to an incompatible suitor who could not read too good, irritated us to no end, lacked social graces, and was abhorred by friends and family because they made our toes curl up.  Physical attraction and satisfaction do affect a relationship’s sustainability.

I have long believed how we process sex depends on the ground rules and nature of the relationship before orgasms are exchanged.  Was your partner a homie lover friend who after years of “WANTING” finally unlocked the key to your chastity belt?  Was he a casual fling who felt a sense of entitlement after winning the grand prize?  Was he an ex who thought putting it down meant all is now forgiven?   If he is beating his chest like King Kong, and smellin’ himself (as my Grandma would say) a little too much…maybe he was just not that in to you.

Quite naively (in my youth), I assumed men were the sole predators and that women very meekly decided on which lover was worthy.  But I am here to tell you, as we have all become more sexually free, getting cocky after sex is not gender specific.

And I may be breaking a man law by saying this, but never give up your power.  If you want more than a romp in the sheets and expect to be wooed like a women should…DEMAND IT.  If you want a casual sexual relationship (remember to practice safe sex at all times) with no strings attached, BE UP FRONT.   It’s all about your needs. And only honesty can fulfill them.