PDF Erykah Badu Black Queen Or Baby Mamma
I love Erykah Badu, but I think having 3 baby daddies is a bit much. I think of the example she may be setting for her kids. Is she any different than the women in the projects our mamas warned us about?
Candice, Philadelphia, PA
Photo Credit www.myspace.com/shannonmccollum
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Sugar’s Take
To be frank, Erykah Badu is further from the stereotype of project baby mamas than the Pluto is to Earth. The key difference is Badu ain’t runnin’ around lookin’ for the next man payin’ for nails and hair with a car to take her shoppin’. She has built sound relationships with some cool brothers and it didn’t work out the way we, on the outside, thought it should. I mean listen to the music. Mama’s Gun, Baduizm, the live joint, all of these are acoustic journal entries. Being even a little judgmental is denying our own humanity. How many failed relationships have we had? How many times have we dealt with the ‘wrong’ person and stayed for no good reason at all? How many times have we been in relationships for the wrong reason? I had the pleasure of looking Ms. Badu square in the eye at the Dave Chappelle concert (eternal thanks for puttin’ me in your movie brother) , and I was instantly warped into a world with warm grass, cool breeze, big trees and beds of roses. And from that I can tell you for sure, Erykah Badu is a lover y’all… travelin the same universal roads of discovery as everyone else. I’m for real. {/column1}
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Ed’s Take
Erykah Badu has never fit nicely into the “typical women” role. If anything, she has redefined contemporary notional of black femininity with a fierce independence that side steps the “cook the grits and shut the hell up” version of womanhood we are sold. Her love for her people and the brother’s in her life is unconditional, and her definition of a relationship may seem unconventional to on lookers, but she is happy..aint that the goal!!! Admittedly, her relationships have not worked out. But despite the issues, she has maintained a positive/working relationship with all of her former mates. Plus, her kids are well provided for and not victims of the system. Yeah, we can cast insults form the sidelines and call her a baby mamma with loose morals; but who is perfect? We all know of relationships, and some of us have been in a few, where couples stay together in misery instead of breaking up. Some of us stay for the kids, fear of being lonely, or to deflect criticism. There is a greater question we must ask ourselves. In this age of dysfunction, as divorce rates swell past 50%, how does a sista like Badu find the strength to move on, reinvent her heart, heal her wounds, raise her kids, dare to challenge tradition, live in the fickle world of entertainment, and not fold to societal pressures imposing value systems down her throat? {/column2}
Got a question; email us at askedandsugar@afrostoshelltoes.com.
About Sugar Between catching the uptown train to conduct “we luv the kids” writing workshops to dancing rumba on the lower eastside, Sugar Johnson flaunts his creative freedom in various mediums. The actor, vocalist, and educator have not only shared the stage with prolific artists such as The Last Poets, M-1 of Dead Prez, Jessica Care Moore, and Spike Lee, but he also labors to cultivate the forgotten souls of Rikers Island. Johnson made his film debut in Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. The ASCAP member holds a B.A. in Mathematics from DePauw University and will release the poetry collection Food Clothes and Shelter on his imprint Home Grown Publishing, LLC in 2008.
About Ed Award winning writer, educator, counselor, and activist Edward M. Garnes, Jr. is the founder of From Afros to Shelltoes: Art, Action, and Conversation, a nationally acclaimed series of cultural productions confronting the social divide between elders and hip hop heads, and holds a B.A. in English Writing from DePauw University and a M.A. in Counseling from Michigan State University . His seminal essay, ” Sweet Tea Ethics: Black Luv, Healthcare, and Cultural Mistrust,” currently appears in Not In My Family: AIDS in the African American Community, a 2007 NAACP Image Award nominated collection edited by Gil Robertson. (www.afrostoshelltoes.com).
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Tags: Erykah Badu, Relationships, Shannon McCollum
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I love Ms. Badu however as a female having has a few bad relationships myself one being marriage(2 daughters from my marriage).I moved on and had some significant and long term relationships one of 3 years, 2 years and 19 yrs which is the current one since I divorced in 1982. I did not have a baby by each of those men. Must we have a baby by everyone we think or believe we are in love (or lust) with. My answer to that is Hell Naw! Come on now, one is cool and I thought her and Andre appeared to be a great match when they had 7, then when that did not work she moved on which she should have but to have another baby out of wedlock and then that relationship did not work. I do not even know who that baby’s father is because I do not recall the relationship being in the media (probably a good thing) Somewhere in there was Common right? Well good thing she did not have a baby by him also. Now here is another baby on the way. Enuf is a damn nuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
question for ‘karen’.. what does your experience have to do with Ms.Badu? why must we pass judgements on other people’s lives?. because you had whatever experiences you had you cannot possibly expect everyone else to have the same or even similar experiences as u based on the sole fact that u had them and that its ur life.. because that is the basis of all judgements.. what “I” did, actually you cannot EXPECT anything from anyone. let people be, let live, God Bless Erykah and her children.. i love her energy and she is creating positivity and light with her music and her attitude, peace be with you sister. dont know her personally but am sure she’s a great mother and that is the most important thing above all else..LET’s all just BE.
badu’s music is hot. i love it. i buy the albums and have it on my ipod. but what is so simple for me to see and so hard for everybody else appearantly is that ‘the one’ for each of us is still not a 100% match. we have to learn each other.. compromise with each other.. nobody is perfect.. but we can make that ‘the one’ person IDEAL. otherwise we just bed/babydaddy hop looking for that long lost twin from birth who will magically fix everything wrong in our lives, pay our bills, teach us hidden nuances of our chosen profession and give us good hair all of a sudden.
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miss badu is creative and limber with her music. however her expectations of how to relate to men is very 14ish. i predict the ‘answer’ will be a magical coming out of the closet and she will bed hop with sista’s instead.
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hell she did best with common but like every sista i have had a failed relationship with ladies move on to bigger and smellier ragamuffin’s and good bruthas learn slowly to ditch american blacks and go international or stay USA and get any other non-black woman.
I saw Miss Badu performing at the Austin City Limits Festival, and I was just wondering if she’s had her baby yet.
however ms. badu chooses to live her life is her choice. enough said. peace.
Balck peopel are some of the most harshest judges, yet I am around young white ladies everyday whom has done the same yet it’s never exposed.. And the media use us to judge each other we still have that slave mentality and they know it…I have not seen the white community or other races comment on this only us! That’s why we are always at the bottom looking up to the top, because we haven’t learn how to stick together , stop gossiping, murmuring, backbitting and complaining these have kept us in Eygypt for 40 years and it’s keeping us in the downward sistuation that we are in today, for well over 400 years we have been the subject of others races folley, aOther races advance as a group and we are still at stage one..ahve you asked yourself Why? We are so judgmental of each other it sad… In the word of Yahshua “let him who is with out transgression caste the first stone” Erykah’s life was preordained before the beginnig of this world and so have everyones eles that why we don’t go thru the same experience if we did then how would we effectivley contribute to this society…..Black Folks we need to stop it!!!!!I guess if she had three kids by Master Willie, Master Charles and Master John it would be ok!!! Yah forbid don’t upset master! Sometimes relationships don’t work out the way we plan for them to do. Everything in ones life goes according to how Yah planned it out , he’s the potter she’s teh clay! Yah toldJeramiah for they mothers womb I knew thee, the same is with Ms. Erykah before this would happen he knew it would ( for thsi reason he say some have eyes but can’t not see)……It’s so sad because all those who want to be Judges find themselves in particular sistuations after they open their mouths. I don’t listen to her music and is not a big fan , but can’t help but to come at her defense , I can’t stand to see little people looking down on someone eles to make themselves look big!!!! As for her being a role model to our children If we bring them up in the way they should go In Yashua (the worls call him Jesus do your research) they would never depart from him! Nuff said! If I was her i would haverolled up my dress bent ova to let the world kiss my AZZ! Some people just have too much time on their hands….I know this is an old issue but I’m just comming from under the rock I been under!LLS